Do you remember when I was writing about how easily I can be my worst enemy by setting unnecessary and useless rules for myself nobody else cares?
It’s a bit similar now with the feeling I can’t move on still I, for the last time, wouldn’t do everything properly, exactly the way I always wanted to do with my road cycling projects.
Meanwhile I just really want this to be over. I have thousend of new ideas everyday, especially for my 18th century project which I haven’t upated since the toad cycling season started, athough before that I eas very busy to write new articles, which are now in the state of being abandoned drafts forever (as I know myself, abandoning almost finished tasks and forever).
Only a few days till the start of Giro d’Italia 2025, and I feel everything is just a big mess on all my cycling projects. But the unconfortable truth is, that
it can’t be anything else than a big mess.
Or more precisely, it can’t be anything but a bigger and biggery ever growing mess.
It’s like having an easy task originally, careying a little packet from A to B , from one corner to the other in a room, for instance. It’s an easy task isn’t it. Simple, plain, no complication, no obstacle, everything is clear fro! the brginning. But then with every step I decided to put anothe packets on each other, till I can’t carrying them and halfway, or even better, only a few steps away my aim, I just fall over and my original simple little task becomes a big disaster.
In a way, failure is unevitably planted in everything I do,
because I can’t stop seeing the bigger and bigger and bigger picture, adding more and more layers and features to something currently I do.
It’s especially with my road cycling projects, snd even mkre ehen I’m eager to connect this stuff to my other interests.
Just take a look at how I wish to present Giro d’Italia on my blog. I not only want to write lots of articles in my Faces from the Giro d’Italia peloton category (or, well, 21 articles, one for each stges), also writing Giro fun facts, and reminders of the eventd in past on that particular day. But I find an opportunity to write about cultural stuff with the Italian painting of the day, also the funny little If you can’t stop thinking about the Roman Empire stuff, but I just started searching for historical novels set in Italy just to create an even stronger connection between my different projects, also seaching for films (historical fiction, of coursey what else) too.
But doing this properly, while on the other hand I just returned a bit to Hungarian literature again, to a very heavy topic, the fictional (fictionalized) representation of the terrible years in the middle of the 20th century, which is really the topic I stsrt dvelving into it, I feel I have to be there for a while, it’s getting more and more unrealistic even for me.
So, yeah, that’s the current state of my mind about the once loved, no rsther a bit hated road cycling projects.