And I don’t care. I mean I care about how and why I don’t care because, again, that could be an inportant information to me about the way my brain works, but this is it, the ultimate proof I should move on.
Or better to say, I should have moved on years ago.
On the other hand, of course, not, because, as I said a few moments earlier it’s very useful to see what I’m exactly doing (for instance, how I respond the stress I generated myself for creating stupid rules to myself) and how can I this experience profitise in bigger an more inportant projects later in my life.
Yes, you’re right, I fucked it up and
I just desperately want to give a purpose to this misery I can’t let go since years.
On the other hand (I know I should stop starting every sentence with this phrase), I don’t know, well I feel (it must be an illusion) that even in the last few days I really learned about myself quite much.
By the way, during recent few days I experienced technical issues woth my all three international websites (Anita Pethő, PelotonTales, Trapped in the 18th century and all of their subdomains) which made for me easier not to care about the Giro d’Italia. Also there are issues in my life outside of the digital world, in real life, causing exhaustion very quickly by sensory overload.
So, that’s it. I know I should create more than 300 words long posts, but this is not the day I can do it. Yes, even a graphomaniac loke me can suffer of writer’s block, not to be able to write meaningful sentences. (Oh, and yesy slowly but surely I still manage, after all, to step over the 300 mark. Do I? Yes I do. )